Summary

Today is my birthday. I’m 51 years old. The only thing I wanted for my birthday was to celebrate it with you, and we shared a video call.

So, let me give you a brief summary of things have happened lately. We’ve been having semi-regular video calls with you. I say semi-regular because whenever we call, our calls go unanswered. So, we only get to talk to and see you whenever your mother decides to call us.

Almost every time she calls, she complains about your daddy. How he does nothing, how he doesn’t take care of you, how he doesn’t talk when he’s upset. She’s been with him for long enough to know how he responds, I don’t know why she has to complain to your Granny. Like, she wondered why he couldn’t take care of you when he gets home from work so she could take a shower. Days go by without her showering because he doesn’t take care of you, or he falls asleep trying to take care of you. Y’ know, he works 10, 12, 14, sometimes 16 hours a day. He’s tired. He shouldn’t have to come home, cook, clean, take care of a baby -when his wife has been home all day.

Maybe that’s an unpopular opinion, but it is the opinion most of us on this side of the family has. And, because he wouldn’t talk to her and do what she wanted, she loaded up the dog and you in the car and drove to Ohio for a week. As she told us, “My grandma is getting older and I wanted her to meet Hannah before it’s too late.”

Excuse me? I had to leave the room after she said that. One of the last things Grandpa said to me was that he hoped he got to meet you and hold you. And she refused to come down here for that to happen. YET, she took you to HER family in Ohio!?!

If you needed any more proof of the fact that she is keeping you away from our side of the family - there it is. Granny and I were furious - so furious that after that call ended, all we could do is hold back tears. So, not only did she leave your daddy for a week, but she made sure to introduce you to HER family. There are folks on our side that would like to meet you but cannot. You’re close to 2 years old and only 3 people from our side have actually met you - me, Granny, and Aunt Connie. We have a very large, close family.

I’m still pretty angry about it - especially since she made such a childish stink about not bringing you to see everyone last November.

Why does she hate us so much? I mean, we weren’t allowed to hold you or help her out when you were born. She shut us out until we bitched enough to get video calls. In person, she constantly interferes with any bonding we try to do with you. I mean, WTF? We’ve never done anything to deserve this.

Of course, she’s told Granny that your daddy ruined her life by marrying her and getting her pregnant. She’s said that more than once. I’ve heard it. I’ve tried so hard to get along with her and build bridges, but I mostly just bite my lip and continue to walk on egg shells. We never know when the volcano will erupt again. It has several times. And it’s usually over super ridiculous crap. We mostly just shake our heads.

Like when she kept taking you to doctor after doctor. At the moment, I think she’s on your 3rd pediatrician. The other two kicked her out. She insists that there’s something wrong with you - so much so, that she finally found a doctor to run all sorts of tests and had you admitted to children’s hospital in Chicago. Your daddy insisted nothing was the matter with you, and as it turned out, he was right. You were put through I don’t know how many tests just because your mother insisted there was something wrong with you. You are perfectly made. But because you have trouble sleeping at night (which I have my own theory about, and it’s the same as the one the rest of our family has), and also because you’re not yet speaking in whole sentences, and often have to be told words repeatedly, she thinks there’s something wrong with you. She eventually found a doctor that would medicate you so you could sleep. I used to give her the benefit of the doubt, but Jesus- doctor shopping isn’t a good thing ever. I’m the first one to say that doctors are a joke, believe me. I don’t believe in medical people at all. BUT, when you have several tests run, and have consistently found nothing wrong - c’mon. Count your blessings and move on.

Sigh - I wish I had something better to tell you. It isn’t all bad, because at least we can watch you grow up, even if it’s via video. And you recognize us when we’re on the phone with you, so that’s a plus. I live for your smile and your giggle. It just makes me so happy. It’ll get better, I hope. That’s my prayer.

I love you baby girl.