Day 446

https://www.starvedrockcountry.com/2024/05/23/wild-bill-days-to-return-to-downtown-utica/

This link is important. We didn't know about this before we got to IL this weekend.

We got to Aunt Connie's house on Friday night, with the understanding that we would see you on Sunday. We had a lot of gifts for you when we arrived to see you - we’d been saving them up since November.
There were complaints about what we brought, the amount that we brought, and having to put things - like a mini drum kit that I was so excited to give to you - together. These complaints never came from your daddy. He was happy to put things together. But, it broke my heart and your Granny’s heart that we can’t just shower you with presents once in awhile. I did take some video of you enjoying this little dancing toy we got you. It played the “Baby Shark” song, and you just giggled and danced the entire time it played. It was so adorable.

We also had a bit of a mission. See, when your Granny was a little girl, she sat for a professional photo in this beautiful black velvet dress. She wanted a photo of you in this same dress. The only way that would happen was if we sat you on your mother’s heirloom rocking horse. That was ok, I guess, it turned out to be cute. And I doctored up the photos afterwards to where the backgrounds looked good and they even match your Granny’s photo.

Afterwards, we had an enormous bag of clothes that we saved up for you. Some of them came from Walmart, some from Target, but most came from Temu. It’s worth mentioning that we pre-washed all of these clothes in the same detergent your mother uses (or, more likely, your daddy) - because we asked her what she uses. We also cleaned all the toys and then put batteries in them if they needed them, and cleaned them off before putting it all back in their original boxes.

After chatting for a bit, we decided to go into town and get something to eat. It rained most of the day, and there was supposed to be some kind of celebration in town that your daddy wanted to show us. So, we went into Utica to this restaurant that y’all apparently visit often enough to know a few people there. One side was a bar, the other side was a restaurant. We went in through the bar and made our way to the restaurant. Aunt Connie, me, and your dad sat on one side of the table, Granny, you and your mother sat across from us. It was actually closer to lunch than it was to dinner. Some restaurants have limited menus for lunch versus dinner, at least that’s true here where I live. And I’m fairly certain that the waiter told us that there were things that weren’t yet available from the kitchen. Granny, Aunt Connie, me, and your Daddy ordered our food without issue. Your mother picked things that were not available yet. No matter what she picked. I could see how that would be frustrating. But, instead of handling it with class, all your mother did was scream and complain. Honestly, it was thoroughly embarrassing. Me and Aunt Connie pretty much hid behind our menus. When our food finally came, your mother again scolded the waiter like they were a child and accused them of not bringing what she ordered. Problem was that we all heard her specifically say she didn’t want this particular side item that she was now screaming at the top of her lungs about. Aunt Connie, Granny and I all just rolled our eyes and shook our heads. We didn’t know what to do.

Afterwards, we left our cars parked in the lot and walked around. We ended up at this - well, it was like a gym, but I think it was like the community center in Utica. We entered through the back of the building and walked into this gym. Because of the rain, they had moved this celebration thing into this building. Turned out it was this Wild Bill days. When we walked in, they were in the middle of a re-enactment of Wild Bill’s life. They were using real guns, but firing blanks and it was loud. We sat in the bleachers, and it ended up that your daddy took you out and walked you around because it was loud.

Afterwards, they announced that there was a guy there that was going to do a whip demonstration. I know that your daddy likes that kind of thing, so I got up and came out to grab you from him so he could enjoy the demonstration. I took you from him and we just walked up and down the long hallway. Well, actually, I only had you long enough for your daddy to get back to the gym and to be told to come back out and get you from me. So, maybe 5 minutes…? I was just trying to let him enjoy something I know he likes. You’re my baby girl and there isn’t a reason in the world that I couldn’t watch you for him.

He came and took you from me and I followed him back to the gym. Your mother met him at the entrance and yelled at him for allowing me to take you. She used the excuse that she had to breast feed you - though, if she just would have said she needed to do this, I would’ve brought you back to her immediately.

She never got up to breast feed you by the way. At least, not that I saw.

I went back into the gym and sat down. I didn’t enjoy the whip show. But it was interesting, I guess. I think the reason why is because I was more worried about what was going on with you.

Afterwards, I ended up holding you again, and we walked through this gift shop that was at the opposite end of the building from where we came in. You put your head down on my shoulder and was almost asleep, when your mother took you from me. You had a cold, as I recall. I remember this because your Granny still has the tissues she used to wipe your nose in her purse. Gross, yes, but she won’t throw them away because they were used on you.

After we left that building, I thought we may go back to your house. We didn’t. Mostly because your mother was still shouting and cursing on the walk back to the cars. Good Lord. I just don’t get it. Granny had had enough and so had Aunt Connie. So, we got in Aunt Connie’s truck and left. Afterwards, your daddy messaged us to see if we were ok and to ask if something happened that made us leave. I didn’t have the heart to tell him, so I told him “no.” I know if we’d stayed much longer, it would’ve gotten ugly. It was just ridiculous having to put up with all the complaining, whining, yelling, bitching.

And not being allowed to hold you and carry you while you slept on my shoulder?!? Really?!

Look, I’ve been telling your daddy since you were born - actually, even before - that your mother couldn’t stand us. There were the occasional moments of humanity that she expressed - like attending my father’s funeral in her dress uniform - but, for the most part, she never really liked our side of the family. The only time she bothered to talk to your Granny was when your parents were in an argument and she had to complain to your Granny about her son. It was so bad one time that I called your daddy and told him about it. Not something I usually do, but she was really upsetting Granny and I had enough of it. But, it got worse after you were born. Others thought we were overreacting or that we were nuts - but your Granny and I insisted that we were slowly being shut out of your life. This was just more evidence of it.

We held our tongues though. Because if we say anything, we know she will keep you away from us. That is a torture we couldn’t endure.

I don’t want you to think that I dislike your mother. I actually think she’s got a lot of post-partum stuff going on that she’s not bothering to medically take care of. And, I think she needs a lot of different kinds of help. But, what I do dislike are the blatant acts of purposely taking you away from me. I’m not going to put up with that forever.

I love you baby girl. Never, ever forget that.